Oh, my form

Grumpy 14 year old boy, storming out of my classroom unhappily: *mutters* 'I don't know why everyone says you're such a great teacher, you're not exactly a good form tutor...'

Making Conversation

In the inclusion centre, for kids who can't cope so well with mainstream, or who can cope but not for 5 lessons a day. I am teaching a sewing class, which I volunteered to do in my gained time now the year 13s (upper 6th) have left, to 3 girls, Big Hair (13), Scottie (14) and Beehive (15). The atmosphere is a lot more relaxed than in the rest of the school! All 3 girls have had multiple exclusions from multiple schools.

Beehive: 'So, how old are you, Miss?'
Me: 'I'm sorry, love, but I can't really tell you that, you know?'
Beehive: 'Oh, OK, year, fair dos'
Me: 'Thanks'
Big Hair: 'But you're, like, young, right?'
Scottie: 'Yeah, she's definitely young'
Beehive: 'Can we have an estimate, Miss? Like, around about?'
Me: 'Um...'
Beehive: 'Like, you're in your 20s, right?'
Me: (safe territory) 'Right, I'm in my 20s'
Beehive: 'Cool, thanks Miss.'
Big Hair: 'You're really mature for 20, Miss. Aren't 20-year olds always, like, clubbing and drinking?'
Beehive: 'She's in her 20s, idiot, not 20!'
Big Hair: 'OH! I thought she looked old for 20!'

Excited

A year 7 arrives early in my classroom. She is quiet and shy, so I take the opportunity to talk to her.

Me: You're getting on really well in maths at the moment. Are you feeling ok about the test?
Year 7: Yeah, I've done lots of revision. I'm a lot better at maths now than I was in primary school.
Me: Oh? How come? You're pretty good at maths!
Year 7: I didn't really like it at all in primary school, but it's better now, and I find it much easier.
Me: Why's that, then?
Year 7: Well, my last teacher was a maths specialist and she always said it was really important and she was really serious. She wasn't enthusiastic like you - you're always excited. And we didn't get to play any games.

Quote of the Week

'Miss, when my mum met you at parent's evening, she said you looked about 10. How old are you?'

Flattering

'Miss, you're the most responsible adult we know, so will you come with us to a gig tomorrow? Under 16s have to be accompanied!'

Compliment of the week

11 year old boy, apropos of nothing:

'You know, you're really not that old, miss. I mean, my mum's 37 and I think you're probably younger than she is.'

A backhanded compliment

From a 13 year old, on parents' evening:

'I don't know why everyone says you're so bad, Miss - I think you're a really good teacher!'

Quote of the Week

At the bus stop, some girls were talking about boys and makeup and other such topics. A very short boy gave a loud sigh, turned to the (male) teacher next to me and said

'Can't we talk about something manly? Like...like... Philip Pullman?'

Misspelling of the week

Obchoos

Insult of the Day

12-year-old boy to 12-year-old girl: 'Go and sit in a pond!'

Perceptions of adult life

Small Mop: 'Mrs!'
Me: 'Who's marrying me off? I'm a Miss!'
'Oh, aren't you married?'
'No.'
'Oh........are you divorced, then?'

Other small child: 'That's rude! You can't ask that!'